Crossdressing

Socrates suggested adding crossdressing to our repertoire awhile back, and my feelings on the issue are mixed. Of course, there's the power exchangey, "if it gets your Master off, do it, even if it is a bit distasteful" - but I also trust that, if I air my grievances, I can trust Socrates to come to a just conclusion on what we should do.

I said recently that I don't find submissive men very attractive, and until fairly recently more imagined myself as a submissive woman within scenes than as a submissive man. As the son of two feminists, you have no idea how much this galls me, because it says that, in my deepest self, I see feminity as a weakness, and the natural order of things as a dominant male, submissive female. And if I haven't yet been able to find submissive men attractive, I have at least fought long and hard to decouple my feminine traits from my submission (if not integrating my masculinity and submission, seeing as a I have little and put little importance on the former), but these gains, I feel, are fragile, and I don't know how long they'd last.

After my first less-than-positive experience with Socrates, I met another dom on collarme- call him Thrasymachus. He eventually flaked out on me, and probably for the best, because the online conversations I had with him didn't give me much faith that he'd respect many limits or have any of the traits of loving domination that Socrates exhibits- but truth be told, his relentless misogyny and determination to turn me into his "sissby bitch" were incredible turn-ons at the time. I don't want to head back down that road. Ultimately, crossdressing in a BDSM context says that feminine traits in a male are shameful, and should be mocked, and that the only natural order is a dominant male and submissive female. I subscribe to neither of these views. While crossdressing in most situations is an act profoundly subversive of the gender binary, and while I've a lot of respect for those that flaunt that convention, ultimately in my context it's only reinforcing that pernicious institution.